A short tale of times past in which I reveal my initial hatred for Lost and recall a serious TV bender.

Lost premiered on September 22, 2004. I watched it, and, well, I hated it. I can tell you exactly why. Fear. Flight 815 went down. The Marshall was hit in the head with a briefcase. People were launched into the ceiling of the fuselage, and the plane was torn in two. I remember it all quite vividly, and I know for a fact that I didn’t breathe through the entire sequence. I couldn’t watch it.

Every time I drive the lower level of the George Washington Bridge I get heart palpitations. So, yeah, you could say I have a problem with heights. They call it Acrophobia. Jimmy Stewart suffered from acrophobia in Vertigo. At a glance, he probably would have hated the Lost Pilot too.

Anyway, I hated the premiere. It assaulted my fears in such a way that I was emotionally scarred by it. I might have cried. I might be making that up. Note to self- I should record myself with strategically placed flipcam, while I watch TV. I passed on Lost, and settled into a love affair with Arrested Development, Battlestar Gallactica, and of course old reliable, which has acted as a surrogate parent, The Simpsons. Life was good. I had no idea what I was missing.

The summer of 2005 came, and along with it came the dreaded reruns of TV seasons past, along with brain-drain reality programs that asked people to eat bugs for money. I wish there was a way to erase Fear Factor from my memory. They should develop some Dollhouse Joss Whedonesque technology to perform selective lobotomies. I have at least five memories off the top of my head that I can do with out:

1. Fear Factor

2. My second girlfriend in college. She threw a shoe at me once.

3. The Film House Party and House Party 2 (Not a cheat, they should die together)

4. My first fight in High School. (It was embarrassing)

5. A rotten egg that my wife cracked into a hot pan. Worst Smell EVER.

Back to it. My point. I am a stubborn man. When EVERYONE tells me I need to see something, I generally won’t. If I missed it initially and hype raises a film, show, play, book, etc. to mythic proportions, I know it won’t live up to the hype. Example: My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I had no desire to see it. EVEYONE told me I had to. Finally, I sat down and watched it on dvd. It was okay, but by no means would I put it in my top ten, twenty, or even one hundred films. It was an adequate way to spend ninety-five minutes. That was all. This Big Fat Wedding had no lasting effects on my life. I prefer The Two Jakes to Chinatown. I’m that kind of guy.

So EVERYONE was telling me for months, “You have to watch Lost. What do you think the monster is? Do you think they’re dead and the island is the afterlife? How can John Locke walk?” —Wait, John Locke is on the island? Weird.

Lost Season 1 was $20 at Best Buy. That’s cheaper than a movie for two. Like a kid buying a magazine from the forbidden top shelf at the newsstand, I purchased the first season of Lost. I told no one, because I was the ANTI-Lostie, and my powers were a lack of knowledge of the island. Blinds drawn, I sequestered myself on a Friday night and re-watched the pilot. Friday became Saturday, and then suddenly it was Sunday. I watched the whole thing? I felt so dirty. I realized that my adamant stance against Lost was pointless. I was a big old jerk, and I needed a shave.

Ironically, considering the current direction of the show, it was comparable to a religious conversion. I once was Lost, but now am—– I almost got really cheesy here.

So there I was, a Lostie through and through, and I couldn’t wait to see what or who was in the hatch. I hope you Enjoyed my “LOST” origin story.

— As a project, I will be watching the Final Season of Lost and writing about the craft of Filmmaking, Acting, Screenwriting, etc. and using those elements to formulate educated guesses. (Not Spoilers! Nobody has told me anything.)